friends?SPM result?

tomorrow is the SPM result release day,
many of them were afraid and nervous about that,
seriously,i still feel nothing,
is that any problem occur on me?

i hate the feeling what i having today,
it's so weird and it's damn bad,
my thinking like having a war
argue about something stupid...

i know i'm always thinking about issue friend,
cause friend was very important for me,
i hate the feeling of betray,
and i never got friends when small...

seriously,i have no friend when small,
i'm always feel alone and,
i must be strong that time,
and finally i did it until now...

i'm happy cause when i sad,
i have many friends beside and,
i'm willing to share my secret with them,
and i felt some warm since that time...

when small,i never been respected by others,
they thought i'm a stupid guy,
and they don't like to talk with me,
anyway,i didn't care at all...

i never participate anything,
cause i never been found by any teacher,
and i have to fight myself with friend when small,
and i never have friends to help me...

i'm afraid to go secondary school,
because i'm afraid the things will happen again,
but i change myself because of destiny,
and finally i done it...

so i care about my friend,
friends were very important for me,
i don't want to go back the moment that i have no any friends,
seriously,it's so suffer that time,
so i have no childhood memory actually...

忆...

我从那我之前所说的地狱回来了，
但是此刻的心情却对那边依依不舍，
我完完全全的习惯了那儿的生活，
对我来是只有深深的后悔，
因为我总是那个说不听的小孩。

从那天回来之后，
我不在继续写日记，
因为我发现已没有什么有趣的事情发生，
我已过回了以前吊儿郎当的生活...

要是时间可以重来的话，
我有许多许多的事情想要去尝试，
我曾经的害怕及胆小，
唆使我停留在原地...

我始终还懂得理智，
我懂人生没有第二次，
所以只能把以前的遗憾变成教训，
把我所做不好的事情做得更加好...

回忆总是抹杀我情绪的祸首，
我很害怕每当开启电脑，
眼前所留下的是我深深遗憾的事情，
是我从没去享受过的国名服务...

以前的我总自以为是，
什么都喜欢独自行动，
但是只从我在那边遇到了许多好友之后，
我才发现人真的需要朋友...

原来被朋友承认是件很快乐的事情，
原来朋友愿意相信自己是件很开心的事情，
原来与朋友一起犯错是件很爽的事情，
原来没有朋友的人才是最悲惨的...

最近的我开了电脑，
第一件会做的事情就是查看fb，
接着就是不断地上网寻找好影片，
因为我懂看电影可以让我心静下来...

看电影可以让我暂时停止乱想东西，
看故事书也达到如此的效果，
所以我最近重复的做这两件事情，
为的就是让忙碌来掩饰我那不舍之情...

我最近习惯了早睡早起，
我最近也变得很好吃，
我最近变得很好做事情，
因为我发觉我习惯了那边的生活...

现在所有一切都太晚了，
我只希望朋友们都过得很好...

还未去国名服务的朋友们，
国名服务其实没我们想象的那么差，
千万不要进了埋怨这个那个，
因为后果会像我这样，
带着一颗遗憾的心直到永远...

how are you?my friends...

dear friends:
how you all sincerely?
i hope you all can getting better day by day.
and i need to talk to a friend:
how are you now?
after plkn i never heard about your news anymore,
you just like disappear from my memory,
and i just hope you can be better than before.
seriously,i don't know that i'm your friend not?
anyway,i know my attitude make you feel angry,
but i have to say,
you always be my friend and maybe,
you never treat me like a friend.
never mind,i just hope that i can keep contact with you,
but seriously i fail to do so.
maybe you are busying for your new life?
maybe you are enjoying for your holiday now?
i don't know but i hope you all fine there.
lastly,i just want to say what i thinking now.
remember,i never regret that be a friend with you,
and i appreciate what the thing you give me,
and i appreciate that i have a prefect buddy during ns.
thanks to be a part of memory,my good friend.

dear plkn friends

for all my beloved friends,
i still remember the moment when we all together.
the first time that i knew that i have been selected to go plkn,
i felt sad,the sadness messed up my feeling,
i felt like the end of the year,
i felt wanna going there for die,
i'm afraid the future that never happen yet.
first day,i'm going register at rakan muda there,
and i remember that's a raining day,
and i register myself with full of moody,
and i cried for whole night before that day,
i tried to kill myself that time and lucky that i didn't.
i reached my campsite by bus,
i'm alone to face anything when the first day,
i'm afraid that i will making trouble,
i'm afraid that i can sustain until the end,
but that's all is only a beginning.
i tried to be prefect during this program,
i tried to be mature during this program,
i tried to be strong during this program,
and some target that i set early,
and i success it.
during this program i thought i will be ALONE,
but i didn't mentioned that i have many friends beside me.
still remember that i fail my "bless test" in the first time,
i fall down when the speed going fast,
i just wanna to be strong,
but i don't know why i still can't improve myself,
i JUST want prove that i'm also can done well!!!
but my friend didn't laugh me at all and support me until the end,
that's time i told myself must raise myself.
and until the end,i success it.
i'm happy that i can running non-stop,
i'm happy that i can doing many things that i never expected,
i'm happy that i have many friends that never avoid me.
during the program,i damn miss my home,
my mind and thinking all are about "home",
but i'm felt regret now,
cause i never appreciate the moment that together with my beloved friends,
cause i never think about my friends and thought i'm ALONE,
my friends make me strong and i will never forget,
i appreciate what's the thing that given by God,
and i will never forget that what happening inside the camp,
we eat together,sleep together,gossip together and so on,
i will never forget i'm always joke with my friend,
i will never forget that i'm always disturb the people who trying to sleep,
i will remember all the things that happening inside this program.
i never expected that i will cried today,
i tried to control my feeling but seriously,
i fail to do so and i cried like a kid today,
and i felt sad and pain when leave my friends,
i'm afraid that i won't meet them again,
i'm afraid that i will forget what we done together,
but now,the end of the story,
it's become a history and i won't happened again,
may God bless me can meet my friends again.
i will never forget that i have an awesome memories.
i can't mentioned that i became mature than before.
(i'm weak in english,i hope you all can understand what i wrote)

挣扎...

原以为只要努力，
我们就能改变自己的命运，
但是我还是错了，
最后我还是被命运操控...

去年受到了国名服务通知，
我整个人几乎快奔溃了，
那个时候还是考试时间，
根本就没有心情在考试...

那悲哀的感情我不懂，
那悲哀的心情谁懂？
那怜悯的眼神自己给，
那可悲的命运还是要面对，
这就是我们所谓的现实...

我的脑总是浮现了许多的疑问，
我在不断地问自己，
我在懊恼着些东西，
我心中压抑着一个不能说的秘密...

有时候为了寻找答案，
我会不惜一切付出代价，
有时候为了面对现实，
弄得我全身都是伤...

以前的自己总是有朋友，
但是毕业了后，
我总是找不到一个说话的人，
因为我忘了什么是友情...

嗨...

不懂大家还记得我吗？
我是似乎好久都没来这里更新了，
不懂大家还是否能记得我呢？
似乎我也改变了许多...

人生短短几年，
所以我选择不再抱怨一切了，
我懂过了的事情不能再回来，
但是次少懂得自己是哪里错了...

有时候我会觉得自己很愚笨，
以为我只要付出就会有收获，
但是现在我清醒了，
我懂只要尽力了就可以了...

太过平静的心情让我有点担心，
不懂是不是暴风雨的前兆，
希望我一切都可以顺利...
我要加油才行...

5sc5@回忆

开学的第一天，
我回到了学校，
忽然间我对学校非常的生疏，
感觉很不习惯，
我还很恨自己为什么没上班...

当时的我进到了sc5,
看见全部都是不熟悉的脸孔，
后面的那班男生还很吵，
我居然埋怨自己为什么进到这种班...

唯一没改变的就是我的班主任，
她一进班就开始举办委员会，
我也无缘无故的被人提名，
但是傻傻的自己不知道要做什么...

我把老师交代的东西都记录下来，
然后我在一个一个慢慢的完成，(那本簿子充满回忆)
记得第一件事情就是办公司拿marker pen给老师，
然后帮老师把时间表抄在黑板...

那时候我很害怕身边的人，
因为很多都不认识，
而且很多还是出了名的坏，
那时候我真的很害怕...(回到位置时我的手是抖的)

刚刚开始上课的时候，
老师总是忘记班长是谁，
每次都叫错别人是班长的，
最记得我是班长应该是我的华文老师...

新新开始的我每次都忙华乐的事情，
每天同样的事就是下课了就会去找陈老师，
以前每次都是自己一个人走去的，
但是不久后跟玮很熟所以每次都是跟他去办公室了...

有一次我找不到chemistry老师，
我也遇到了mayu,
她晚上打来问我要不要去她家补习，
结果我答应了...(跟他们的友谊也在此建立)

还记得第一天还来了两位新同学，
老师交代我带他们到学校附近走一走,
结果第一天就认识这两位新朋友，
过后慢慢的我也跟后面那班朋友很熟去了...

慢慢的跟全班的人都相处的很好，
虽然有时候我很自大，
每次要求他们做这个做那个，
但是慢慢的我们的感情也越来越好了...

最后我很幸运我有一班朋友，
sc5就像我第二个家，
没有他就没有今天的自己，
我也很谢谢几位特别的朋友...

谢谢陈玮体谅我了整年，
谢谢琳梅每次愿意帮助我，
谢谢莫些老师总是那么关照我，
没了你们就没有了今天的我...

5sc5!!!
我没后悔进了这班，
以前我做错了什么请大家原谅我，
最后考试快要到了，
希望大家一起努力加油吧...