Letting go,the last thing suppose to do?

I know I'm actually like an idiot,
I'm just like an idiot,
Keep searching your past,
For just wanted to understand you more.

Is that really "nice guy end up at last"?
That's such a good theory to investigate for.
Seriously,I just don't feel right.
I just hate being so invisible in front of you.

Am I really nothing worth for you at all?
Even friendship also is nothing for you?
What do you want from me?
I don't really know how to fix this shit!

Is that really if we try,try and try...
We gonna success at the last?
Is that really just a matter of time?
What if we never met before?
Then everything will be as usual as before.

I'm laughing cause I really like an idiot,
Did so much idiot thingy in front of you,
You happy right?See me being so crazy.
Fun right?Kill myself to make you smile.

I actually believe in miracle,
I actually met miracle at last ALWAYS,
But you are just the one that I don't feel like...
Every miracle will be happening on us...

Letting go,is that really the thing I supposed to do?
No please,I've been tried,
But I just never success. :'(

Internet is something very realistic,
We heart talk without a real name,
We pretend everything with a real name,
This is something always happening on us.

I'm so sorry that I loved you

Are you just kidding me?
I laughed and mocked to myself.
Seriously?Had mood swing because of a dream?
I just realized that how much you can influence me.

So happy that you've been in my dream,
We're chatting and enjoying the time,
You're still like the past,so beautiful and charming,
And the dream was so surreal,
I can't actually move out from that dream.

When I was actually woke up that time,
Damn,I'm starting to miss the one..
The one that I said I will letting go.
And the truth that,you'll never ever love me back.

I don't know what should I do now?
Because I can't even maintain our friendship,
I thought I was the one you already accepted in,
But I just realized that you never...
I'm nothing mean to you at ALL!

I don't know,I can't think further,
I've no dare to think more as well,
Because I'm afraid that I can't handle it,
I'm not a man,I'm just a BOY!

God,I'm so tired,
Why I don't deserve anyone?
What's going on to me?
What should I do to make myself become someone..
Someone who deserve to be loved?

Dear You

You drive me crazy with your indifferent,

I go mad because of how I fall for you,

I get jealous when you so good with someone but not me,

I cry without tears and shout without voice.

I used up my whole attitude to be your friend,

Without any humiliation,sanctity and even my limitation.

I have a "3 minutes" of bad attitude,

But you're like a miracle that totally break this rule.

My vision getting blur when I think about you,

My fall everytime even you only say a "Hi",

Your smile can even keep my smile for whole day,

You don't even know your message can even make my day.

I'm fucking tired for being so care about your life,

I hate how I used to be missing you every night,

I hate how you ruin my schedule with only a word,

I hate how you treat me so well and nothing for the next second.

I fail to tell you that I love you,

I still keep and hold on your love,

Even though I know you will never ever love me back,

The feeling is so strange to me.

The worst thing ever is when I pretend like nothing,

I'm like a very strong people in front of you,

You never see how lonely I am,

Because you are the one that make me not alone.

Can't you just give me a little bit of love?

I'm not that greedy that I want all of your love,

But at least just give me some attention please.

I love you more than what I love myself now. =(

I'm so confusing when I said I wanna letting go,

But I never let you go because I can't do that,

You're so mean like how you treat me,

I hate how you influence my mood!

Dear God,I need you.I'm so in love with that person.

Can you give me a hint whether should I continue to love?

I'm....just fucked up myself! =(

Confession of broken heart

Today might be a very sad day for me,
Because this is my last schooling day with friends.
I'm so sad when I think about them,
But we still have to move on!

I'm so sad when we're talking about the first met,
How we get used to know each other,
Hugging each other made me so brokenhearted,
I'm love them so so so so so so much!

They are the one who gave me a lot of memories,
We used to watch the procession under the rain,
We used to laugh on each other,
We used to mock each other with our words.
We used to sing together,
We used to playing around the class each other,
We used to solve question together,
We used to sleep at class together,
We used to gossip together,
We used to have the party every celebration,
We used to eat at class,
We used to listen song at class
We used to....

And it gonna be my own memories,
We'll going to different country,place and future,
But I'm still not letting go yet,
I'm like crying when I think about them every single moment.

My friend cried and don't losing us,
We are not prepared to face the world yet,
Please,I beg to the God,
Please give us more time to be together.

I don't what will be going on my next life,
Because I though it would be a sweet memory ever in secondary,
But still my friends just broke it,
And taught me what's the real friendship!

They taught me not to be pessimist,
They taught me how to handle my own depression,
We shared secrets each other,
They taught me how to face the world,
They taught me how to love a person,
They taught me how to be kind,
And taught me how to be mature,
Seriously,I don't wanna lose them!

Friends,don't leave me alone,
I don't know what's the future,
But at least,I got an awesome "present",
This is the best thing ever I had.